Wednesday, April 2, 2008

#6 Religion

When it comes to religion, Latinos are D4L. Ever devoted Catholics, Latinos are the only people in the world to goes as far as to name their children after the son of God (Everyone Loves Jesus- we should have a sit-com). We get rosaries and scriptures tattooed on our arms, chest and necks. "Down with the King" is more than just a rap song when it comes to Latinos.

"Vaya Con Dios" is what our grandmothers say before we leave on our daily journeys. When we return home we ask for blessings ("Bendicion") and our elders are so in touch with G-O-D that they actually feel empowered enough by the lord to bestow those blessings upon us ("Bendiga").

We call out to God so much even non-Latinos can decipher our native call to the big guy upstairs. If we hit the lotto we're like, "Ay Dios Mio," but it works if we burn a pot of rice too. Right before we beat our kids we call out "Dios Mio" too, as we're calling on God to give us that extra strength when dishing out whippings. But then during the beating the kids are calling out "Ay Dios Mio" as well. It's sorta like how Italians use the word "Forgeddaboutit" - remember Donnie Brasco? It's all-encompassing.

Have you ever passed a church with a Latino who didn’t do the sign of the cross? If your answer is yes, then they weren’t real Latinos. Check the cellar in any Latin home and you’ll be sure to find a bottle of holy water stashed right next to the excess toilet paper and excess bottles of Lemisol.

Maybe the most telling detail of Latinos' devotion to Christ is how we decorate our lawns. You don't live in a real Latino household unless you have a shrine of the Virgin Mary by your front door. And while most people set-up their nativity scenes (complete with the manger and baby Cristo) for Christmas and then take it down when the holidays are over, Latinos keep that bad boy up all year 'round. See our love for the Lord is deep, word to Abuela's Santo.

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